When it comes to plants, it’s safe to say that I know a thing or two. In the past couple of years I went from owning three plants to over 100…. And back down to 70. There have been many wins, fails, and flat out depressing times if I’m being honest. While I do plan to go into what I wish I knew before purchasing half a jungle, I wanted to share some beginner plant traps. Some of these babies I could never in good conscience recommend to a beginner plant parent. The plants I do recommend can be found here. Without further ado, I give you 7 plants I don’t recommend!
Bonsai:
A miniature tree is such a vibe, right? However, the art of the bonsai is just that – an art. People take formal classes and even travel abroad in order to learn the proper techniques from bonsai masters. There are certain ways to bend the branches with the wire, trimming the right parts in order to get the desired shape, and overall care. Even the soil isn’t simple!
Sure, you could purchase a bonsai and just let it do its thing, even if that may be frowned upon by the community. However, some of these trees are dramatic. If they don’t get the right amount of water or fertilizer, they will lose all of their leaves, crisp up, and, well, pass… This can be quite upsetting given their price tags. They also need to be watered quite frequently due to their shallow pots. Their medium dries up very quickly. In the summer, my partner sometimes waters them twice a day! Good luck with your holidays…
Personally, I don’t handle them. They are too complicated. My partner, however, seems to have a gift for it. Bear in mind that they are a massive time commitment. Aside from the fact that these guys can live hundreds of years, having spa days for his nine bonsais take him a whole afternoon every few weeks! And don’t even get me started on the pests. They’ll hide under the bark, making it incredibly difficult to treat. They are not the best idea for beginner plant parents.
Boston Fern:
I feel like these guys pop up on “easy plant” lists and definitely in aesthetic plant photos. Yes, they are gorgeous, long, fluffy green beauties. But that gorgeousness? Probably AI. The real tea on these ferns is that they are dramatic and never happy. High maintenance is an understatement.
They are very greedy with water, often needing it daily, especially in the summer. If you miss a day, all of their gorgeous leaves will turn brown and shrivel up and you’ll be left with a sad, bald looking plant. And speaking from experience, it takes a while for her to regrow and bounce back.
If you manage to avoid the water tantrum, she will shed her leaves worse than a husky in between seasons. I find them all over the living room, sometimes even in our hallway! If you’re looking to get into the plant world and want something that looks pretty all the time and is easy to take care of? The Boston fern is not it.
String of Pearls (or anything):
I have a specific bone to pick with string of pearls, but any string of things is quite tricky to take care of. Many plant parents have put them on their “never again” lists. While that is not my situation, I can admit that I recently lost my variegated string of pearls. RIP. She was in the exact same location as her regular string of pearls sister, but for some reason decided to shrivel up, go bald, and just give up on life.
These bad boys are part succulent, so they need lots of sun and light. However, the sun needs to hit the crown or else she will thin and bald at the top. Once you have that figured out, you need to water her. Not too much because she will literally go to the plant graveyard, but don’t you forget when needed because the result will be the same. How do you know she’s thirsty? Easy! Her strings will shrivel up. But not all of them. Maybe just a dozen strings. Or half. Or five. Is she thirsty? Who knows, but good luck.
I’ve had luck with my string of turtles, but my string of pearls has been a different story. I do plan to repurchase the variegated version as I find her stunning, but I’m aware I may be heartbroken once again. Being a plant parent is not for the faint of heart.
Carnivorous Plants – Venus Fly Trap:
These babies are some of my favorite plants. However, I fell into the grocery store trap more times than I care to admit. First off, you should never buy any plant from the grocery store unless you are a seasoned pro and ready for a rescue mission… and even there. However you REALLY shouldn’t buy any carnivorous plant from a grocery or big name store. These babies need to come from proper plant stores or professionals. But I digress…
The Venus fly trap requires a very specific climate that most homes cannot provide. The medium she’s sold in is almost always wrong and will result in her moving into the plant afterlife. She can only drink distilled water. Anything else will burn her roots due to the nutrients. She gets those from the bugs she grabs (which you may have to feed her if she’s not catching them on her own). Speaking of water, she’s native to the boglands of the Carolinas. Her pot needs to be sitting in water. And then the sun. She needs full sun, all day, in order to be thriving with big, red traps.
In the winter, she needs to go into a dormancy period or else she will not make it long. This can happen naturally outside if the weather is appropriate, or else some plant parents stick them in the fridge. And all of this is just off the top of my head…
I had to trial and error them a good 4-5 times before I finally understood what they needed. I was able to save one that wasn’t doing too hot and the last one I purchased is thriving and paying her rent by all of the wasps she catches. For me, they are thriving outside, on my balcony. But it took me years to finally have thriving traps.
Honestly, I would never recommend any carnivorous plant to a new plant parent. They are very much an seasoned pro situation. Despite my understanding of them and their needs, I have lost two out of four Pings this year and my pitcher plant has thrips so…. On the bright side, the sundew and my traps are thriving!
Queen Anthurium:
RIP, queen. You shall not be repurchased… I actually got her in a mystery box and tried to hard to make her happy, but she just hated everyone and everything. Thankfully, she never pops up in recommended plant lists. She’s a gorgeous plant with her long, velvety leaves and gives off the best jungle vibes.
However, those leaves will probably turn brown and crispy if you look at her too long. She’s a very finicky plant and doesn’t handle change well. She also requires an absurd amount of humidity, and consistent humidity at that. Any drop or increase to her typical humidity will result in sad, crispy leaves. She’s also quite the slow grower.
Out of all of the plants I have owned, she’s tied with Begonias for being the most sensitive. Generally speaking anthuriums are not beginner friendly plants. They do best in climate controlled environments created specifically for them.
Haworthia Attenuata:
Unpopular opinion, but these guys are the bane of my existence. I have had so many of them in the past and they have all had tragic endings. I don’t water her? Angry. I water her? Tantrum. Bright light? Nope. Sun? LOL. Indirect light? RIP. She’s just never happy, starts to lose her leaves, and quite literally falls apart.
I do have one that came in a plant arrangement about a year ago that seems to be doing fine. She seems to be living her best life on my coffee table. But I don’t fully trust that she won’t wake up one day and self-destruct.
Lots of plant gurus will tell you these types of plants are super low maintenance and impossible to send to the graveyard, but I beg to differ. I find most succulents very difficult to keep! They’re just never happy…
Cyclamen:
Another unpopular opinion. These are pretty common as an outdoor plant during the fall time and they are so pretty! The flowers are very consistent, colorful, and look at those leaves! But just as you start to think she’s happy and adapted to your home, you’ll wake up one day and see that she has fully collapsed on herself, never to rise or grow again. And I’m speaking from experience…. Twice…
I love them so much, but I refuse to re-purchase. I tried keeping them both indoors and outdoors and they hated both. The worst part? They were fine for weeks! While they do have a very dramatic dormancy period, mine took it one step further and passed on instead of pretending to do so… They are also quite the thirsty plants. However, they opt for a dramatic collapse when both over and under watered, making it hard to figure out what’s wrong and what she needs.
They are also one of the only plants that I truly don’t understand what went wrong. I have zero idea as to why they were unhappy. Purchase at your own risk.
Final Thoughts on Difficult Plants:
Before closing out this post, as an honorable mention, be weary of begonias. Nobody is denying that their foliage is extraordinary, but they are also tricky to figure out. And they don’t take too kindly to trial and error, of course. The second you change anything, she will lose all of her leaves. Good luck getting her to grow them back…
Purchasing plants for your home is a lovely way to add some nature into your home. However, do yourself a favor and set yourself up for a win by selecting the right plants. Plants that aren’t overly dramatic, don’t require your attention 24/7, and won’t punish a simple mistake with balding, or worse, the plant graveyard…
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Stay Chaotic,
Tess
